2017年01月18日

Fruitful English の添削例03

英検2級や準1級でも Writing が重視されてきましたので、私もちょっと力を入れようかなと思います。長さは英検2級だと 80-100 words、準1級だと 120-150 words みたいですね。
……というわけで、Fruitful English の添削例(その3)です。日記添削<週2回・600文字以内・週額固定972円(税込)>コースですが、毎週1回1200文字以内(およそ 200 words とちょっと)・ネイティブ添削・解説なしで提出しています。

You(= a cat) wrote :
I tried to answer the question;
Today, some kindergartens have started teaching English to their children. Do you think it is a good idea to teach English to children in kindergartens?
(設問は『英検2級予想問題ドリル 新試験対応版』からです)
 
あなた(= a cat)の作文
(A)Some Japanese people argue that they do not have to learn any foreign languages. (B)That is because Japan is an island country and its society is virtually homogeneous. However, English has become (C)"lingua franca," or universal language. (D)I believe it is a good idea to teach English to children in kindergartens.

(E)To begin with, it takes a long time for native Japanese speakers to learn English. (F)Japanese and English are so different that they have almost nothing in common. (G)Although adult learners struggle particularly with listening and speaking, young children seem to acquire the language way more easily. (H)Therefore, students should start learning as early as possible while their brains are flexible.

(I)Furthermore, other Asian countries are making remarkable progress in teaching English. (J)For instance, several decades ago, Korean and Chinese students had low proficiency in English. (K)They were at the same level as Japanese counterparts. (L)However, Korean and Chinese governments have reformed their system so that English classes start earlier. Now they are improving.

In summary, I agree with the idea that Japanese preschoolers should start learning English as a universal language.

添削結果
(A)There are Japanese people who contend that foreign language acquisition is of no value to them. (B)They think this way because Japan is an insular nation with little cultural or ethnic diversity. However, English has become (C)a "lingua franca," or universal language. (D)In my view, it is high time for us to see to the English education of our pre-schoolers.

(E)Let us start by acknowledging the fact that the road to English fluency is a long and arduous one for native Japanese speakers. (F)Japanese and English are not even remotely similar. (G)The listening and speaking hurdles for adult learners are peculiarly high, but young children appear to have much greater facility for foreign language acquisition. (H)This early mental flexibility supports the proposition that English language education should begin when children are still quite young.

(I)I would also like to point out that other Asian countries are making great strides with their English education programs. (J)Until not long ago, English proficiency in Korea and China might have been considered internationally substandard. (K)Their English skills were indiscernible from those of their Japanese counterparts. (L)However, the Korean and Chinese governments revamped their curricula to have English classes beginning earlier. Now they are improving.

In summary, I agree with the idea that Japanese preschoolers should start learning English as a universal language.

評価
Lv4 ほとんどネイティブの書いた英文と同じレベルに達しています。

From W***,
*この先生はおひさしぶりですね。いろいろな先生に当たった方が、私はうれしいです。

I wish I could give you some constructive criticism, Mr. I am a cat, but this essay is nigh perfect. I would like to treat lingua franca as a countable noun at (C) and give it an article. I think we should also consider this expression as fully integrated into English. This means we do not need to mark the expression with inverted commas or any other special indication.
*nigh = almost

In your (K), I might have used 'their Japanese counterparts,' but that just reflects a stylistic bias on my part. Your omission of 'their' is absolutely unimportant.

In your (L), I might have made 'system' plural, but I must admit that many native speakers forgo consistency in number in such cases.
'Way more easily' in your (G) could be seen as a little too colloquial for the otherwise semi-formal tone of your essay, but I can't really make any hay with this observation.
*強調の way は、前回の "This American Life" に出てきたのでつい使ってみたんですが......ちょっと失敗?
*make hay = to use an opportunity to get the most benefit ???


The indices, then, other than (C), mark paraphrasing. Oh, yes. I almost forgot. I would have given 'Korean and Chinese governments' a definite article in your (L). You are referring very specifically to those governments.
*indices = a plural of index

I wish I could say more, but you have really said everything already. Excellent work.
posted by a cat at 06:00| Comment(0) | Writing | このブログの読者になる | 更新情報をチェックする

2017年01月17日

Fruitful English の添削例02

少なくともひとりは読んでくださった方がおられたので、Fruitful English の添削例(その2)です。日記添削<週2回・600文字以内・週額固定972円(税込)>コースですが、毎週1回1200文字以内(およそ 200 words とちょっと)・ネイティブ添削・解説なしで提出しています。

You(= a cat) wrote :
I tried to answer the question;
In many Japanese universities, students have to take gym classes. Do you think gym classes are important for university students?
(設問は『英検2級予想問題ドリル 新試験対応版』からです)
 
あなた(= a cat)の作文
In many Japanese universities, students have to take gym classes. It seems that no one has (A)doubt about (B)it. In my opinion, however, not all university students need to take physical education courses(C_). There are two reasons.(_C)

First of all, the purpose of higher education is not to train your body, but to improve your (D)mind power. It might be true that college sports, such as baseball, rugby and "ekiden," or long-distance relay (E)race are so popular in Japan. (F)But (G)it does not mean that all students go to college to become athletes. If you want to exercise for your health, you can do it in your free time.

(H)What is more, some people argues that the education system should put more focus on practical subjects. As the world is (I)globalized, the need for English is growing. Compared to other countries, Japanese students have much lower skills in English. To maintain competitiveness in the world, Japanese universities should (J)put more importance on English rather than physical education.

In summary, Japanese college students (K)do not have to take gym classes as compulsory subjects. Instead, they should learn practical subjects such as English (L)to be highly competitive players in the global market.

添削結果
In many Japanese universities, students have to take gym classes. It seems that no one has (A)any doubt about (B)this. In my opinion, however, not all university students need to take physical education courses(C_), for two main reasons. (_C)

First of all, the purpose of higher education is not to train your body, but to improve your (D)mental power. It might be true that college sports, such as baseball, rugby and "ekiden," or long-distance relay (E)races are so popular in Japan. (F)However, (G)this does not mean that all students go to college to become athletes. If you want to exercise for your health, you can do it in your free time.

(H)What's more, some people argues that the education system should put more focus on practical subjects. As the world is (I)now globalized, the need for English is growing. Compared to other countries, Japanese students have much lower skills in English. To maintain competitiveness in the world, Japanese universities should (J)place more importance on English rather than physical education.

In summary, Japanese college students (K)should not have to take gym classes as compulsory subjects. Instead, they should learn practical subjects such as English (L)in order to become highly competitive players in the global market.

評価
Lv4 ほとんどネイティブの書いた英文と同じレベルに達しています。

From T*****,
Hello there!
*これまでの添削のうち、およそ半分がこの先生という印象です。

You've done a really good job on your assignment today - it's a great essay, brilliantly argued.

Excellent work on your natural phrasing, structure and grammar. I've worked to correct your errors and your sentences sound very natural. You will learn a lot from observing the corrections, so please enjoy learning from the revised sentences.

Let's just note that it's ideal to end your introduction with a longer sentence, as I created above; and rather than "mind" power, we usually use an adjective and refer to mental power; and let's not use "but", the conjunction, at the beginning of the sentence; "however" is a perfect replacement, and we use "but" as a conjunction after a comma.

I hope this helps you! As always, it's a nice idea to review the corrected text by reading it out loud, and a few times, to help you become familiar in a written and spoken way, the sentences above!
posted by a cat at 22:00| Comment(0) | Writing | このブログの読者になる | 更新情報をチェックする

2017年01月01日

書評じゃないんだけど...『英検一級合格マップ』について

なにかと話題のあの本。正式にコメントするつもりはなかったんですが、まあ独り言のようなものだと思ってください。

きっかけは、以下のような発言を見かけたことです。見過ごせませんね......
科学雑誌を使って勉強会をしてるそうだから、そちらからの英検対策への応用でも載ってるのかとも期待した。
「科学の勉強をしてついでに英検1級を取ろう」みたいな。
ところが、雑誌名をあげてるだけ。それもサイエンティフィックアメリカンとナショナルジオグラフィックといった「ちょっと洋雑誌で勉強しよう」という人なら知ってる定番雑誌でつまらん。
著者に「あたしはそうゆう読者を対象にこの本を書いたわけじゃない」と言われたらそれまでだけど。
もっとくわしく具体的な情報がほしいという方のために、(なぜか)著者に代わって私が補足いたします。

● "Scientific American" は、(科学の専門家ではなく一般の科学ファンを対象にした)アメリカの科学雑誌。ただし、入門書レベルではないので、読むためには科学リテラシーや背景知識が必要となる。
※ "Science" や "Nature" は専門誌です。念のため。

●宇宙、医療、情報、環境、(物理・化学・生物と関連する)テクノロジーなど、幅広いテーマを扱っている。
心理学に特化した "Scientific American MIND" という関連雑誌もある。これらのテーマはかなり英検一級と重なっている。ただし、英検一級・TOEFL・IELTS の Reading よりも英語レベルは上!
※ "National Geographic" のほうが "Scientific American" よりもテーマの幅がせまくて専門性が弱いです。英語レベルも少しやさしくて写真も多い、つまり読みやすいです。ひょっとすると、英検一級へのお役立ち度は少しだけ低いかもしれませんが。

●英検一級をすでにもっている、あるいは TOEIC が満点近くであっても、サイエンスが苦手な人がひとりで "Scientific American" を読んで理解するのは、かなり難しい(let alone 準一級 or TOEIC 800-...)。
●著者が主催していた学習会では、医療、情報、物理、化学、生物、英文法・語法、アメリカ事情...などに詳しい参加者がそれぞれいたので、お互いに情報を提供して解説しあっていた
※みなさまありがとうございます! 質問する・されるだけでも視野が広がると思います!!

学習会でやっていたのは精読が中心だったんですが、肝心の英検対策とのつながりは...

パラグラフ・リーディングと対比で華麗に解く、英検一級!(笑)
●学んでいることは、英検一級の Reading にも(Vocabulary にも Listening にも Writing にも Speaking にも)生きてくる! まあ、"Scientific American" の精読に比べれば、一級の Reading で合格点を取るなんて楽勝!!

学べること(1) 理系の文章のパターンに慣れる:
出だしのパターンは「一般にはこんなことが信じられてきた。しかしながら、○○の最新の研究によると、それは違うということがわかってきた」みたいな感じ。ひとつの記事が2〜6ページくらいあるときは、パラグラフ・ライティングのルールがしっかり守られていることが多いので、パラグラフの役割にも敏感になる。また、知ってるつもりの単語でもサイエンスにおける意味は違うこともある。

学べること(2) 言い換えと対比の確認:
この2点が英検一級の設問に直結していることがひじょうに多い(もう1点加えるとすれば類比)。単語をいくら覚えても正解できないのは「言い換えと対比」が見抜けないから。言い換えと対比の実例が、すべての記事にこれでもかというほど登場してくる。

学べること(3) 未知の単語の対処法:
最低2回通読する。1度目は辞書を使わずに全体の流れをつかむ、2度目は徹底的に調べながら精読する。この1度目が未知の単語の対処法の練習となる。「パラグラフの流れ・役割」「言い換えと対比」から推測、あるいはサイエンス用語に頻出の語根から推測する。

学べること(4) 背景知識の充実による時間の短縮:
2度目の読み方=不明点は徹底的に調べる(または誰かに教えてもらう)。それによって、次第に背景知識が充実してくる。その結果、読解の時間が劇的に短縮できるようになる。英検の配点が変わったため、Vocabulary + Reading とWriting の配点がおなじになった。Writing や Listening の先読みに時間をあてるため、Reading の時間はできるだけ短縮したい。

※私が合格した2014年の第3回。ここ数年でいちばん難しかった(=合格点が低かった)です。とくに「Space Elevator 宇宙エレベータ」が(ネイティブも苦戦するほどの)難問といわれていますが、私は本文をほとんど読まずに(おそらく1分くらいで)全問正解しています。
※「宇宙エレベータなんて常識だろ。いちいち自慢するな!」とお𠮟りを受けました。
 ……てへぺろ
 

I hope this will help.
posted by a cat at 12:00| Comment(2) | Book Reviews | このブログの読者になる | 更新情報をチェックする

2016年12月29日

Fruitful English の添削例01

毎月すくなくとも一回は更新するということで。
いま話題の本でも紹介されていた Fruitful English の添削例をご紹介いたします。日記添削<週2回・600文字以内・週額固定972円(税込)>コースですが、毎週1回1200文字以内(およそ 200 words とちょっと)・ネイティブ添削・解説なしで提出しています。

あなた(= a cat)の作文
Yesterday, I met a Romanian for the first time in my life. He was a substitute teacher (A)of my English class. I searched for information (B) in advance(C_) because I am not familiar with Romania.(_C)

(D)Most famous Romanian in Japan is Nadia Comaneci. She was the first gymnast (E)who scored perfect 10's. In 1976, when I was an elementary school boy, I watched (F_)gymnastics at the Olympic Games on TV(_F). Gymnastics (G)are one of the national sports in Japan. I rooted for our representatives. However, her performance was so outstanding that my eyes were glued on her. She was called (H)a fairy from Romania.

The second most famous Romanian might be Vlad the Impaler. Although you might not (I)hear of him, you must know the story of Count Dracula. The vampire count Dracula is a fictional character based on Vlad the Impaler. When I was a small child, I watched the legend of the vampire Dracula on TV. At that time, I was so naive that I became afraid of vampires. I kept garlic in my room because I believed it was the best way to keep them away(J).

The substitute teacher said his hometown is known for its beautiful nature(K) and it is near (L)the Dracula's castle. I want to visit the castle someday. I am not so naïve anymore!

添削結果
Yesterday, I met a Romanian for the first time in my life. He was a substitute teacher (A)in my English class. I searched for information (B)about Romania in advance(C_), because I am not familiar with the country.(_C)

(D) The most famous Romanian in Japan is Nadia Comaneci. She was the first gymnast (E)to score perfect 10's. In 1976, when I was an elementary school boy, I watched (F_)Olympics gymnastics on TV(_F). Gymnastics (G)is one of the national sports in Japan. I rooted for our representatives. However, her performance was so outstanding that my eyes were glued on her. She was called (H)the fairy from Romania.

The second most famous Romanian might be Vlad the Impaler. Although you might not (I)have heard of him, you must know the story of Count Dracula. The vampire count Dracula is a fictional character based on Vlad the Impaler. When I was a small child, I watched the legend of the vampire Dracula on TV. At that time, I was so naive that I became afraid of vampires. I kept garlic in my room because I believed it was the best way to keep them away(J)!

The substitute teacher said his hometown is known for its beautiful nature(K), and it is near (L) Dracula's castle. I want to visit the castle someday. I am not so naïve anymore!

評価
Lv4 ほとんどネイティブの書いた英文と同じレベルに達しています。
*ちょっとおおげさですね。

You(= a cat) wrote :
Romania may be the most beautiful country in Europe.
 
From T*****,
Hello there!
*この先生、いつも提出から半日以内に返却という印象です。

Thank you for a fascinating diary introducing Romania, which I also know very little about! – thank you so much for writing it and for sharing it! Now, let's go over a few things as they have been revised above, though this is excellently written.

First, we do things, including having teachers, "in" our classes.

Also, don't forget your countable nouns, like "the" most famous Romanian (person); and it would be most natural to refer to Olympics gymnastics, to write most efficiently.
*Oops! I made a mistake.

Now, note that gymnastics is actually conjugated for the singular, because we mean "the gymnastics event" at the Olympics.
*conjugate 活用[変化]させる

Finally, Dracula is a proper noun, like your own name, so it doesn't require an article to qualify it!
*proper noun = 固有名詞

I hope this helps you - great work!

I hope this helps! You should be proud of yourself for making great efforts. One tip is to read the corrected version over a few times, especially out loud and to yourself, and this will help you reach new levels of familiarity with the natural flow of English!
posted by a cat at 21:00| Comment(2) | Writing | このブログの読者になる | 更新情報をチェックする

2016年11月26日

旅はまだ終わらない(さらに追記あり)

旅はまだ終わらない。。。

伝説の Reading 学習会、JunReadingClub-Scientific American(通称 JRC-SA)がスタートしてから1年あまり。先日(11/24)ついに最終回を迎えた。

※(さらに追記)こんな学習会でした。
[JunReadingClub] JRC-SAのfeline, にゃんこ先生 by Jun さん
JRC-SA 11月で終了JRC-SA明日で終了。 by kakao さん
SAに感謝!! by Sorane さん
一つの終わり by かつお武士 さん

どんなにたくさんの言葉を費やしても、いまの僕の気持ちをあらわすことはできない。



"Goodbye," said the cat.

"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little princess repeated, so that she would be sure to remember.

nyanko-sensei.jpg
Directed by Great Teacher Nyanko
posted by a cat at 22:59| Comment(0) | Reading | このブログの読者になる | 更新情報をチェックする