2015年09月24日

Before and After

I wrote an essay about music. My teacher gave me some feedback.

Question:
Is music important for OUR lives? Why/why not? Could you live in a world without music?

The original essay (before the feedback):
In my view, music is essential to our lives. Almost all cultures have had their own music and musical instruments. The music industry makes billions of dollars worldwide every year. This is because music is fun, at the same time it has positive effects on our lives.

First of all, music is a universal language. It is deeply connected with emotions. Playing or listening to music can change our mood dramatically. When I am depressed, light and cheerful songs make me feel much better. Usually great movies come with great music. “Stand by me” has been unforgettable for us because of its theme song.

Second, music enhances learning. It is scientifically proven that music encourages academic skills. Playing music uses many brain functions simultaneously. W. A. Mozart was not only a musical genius, but also a mathematical genius. Listening to baroque music improves the concentration and memory. As a result, students get higher grades.

Moreover, music gives us the sense of unity. Singing together reminds us that we are not alone. “Koshien” high school baseball tournament is the biggest sport event in Japan. Before and after the game, spectators and players sing the school song together. They feel proud of their home team. Similarly at the Olympic Games, the national anthem is the highest award of the competition.

In summary, music is extremely important for our lives. It effects our emotions, enhances brain function, and gives us the sense of unity. Without music, I would die from loneliness. I cannot imagine a world without it.

(To be continued in the next entry.)
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